January, 2006 - Same Sex2

Same Sex²

I am not so sure I understand the same sex attraction – in men that is. In women now, that is a totally different kind of turn-on. What red-blooded, functional heterosexual male would not get a major kick out of watching two “babes” going at it? As a matter of fact, I know that a lot of lesbian scenes in porn movies are faked. What I mean by that is that the girls are not really and truly lesbians, especially since you can see them in the next scenes taking any number of guys. Most hetero males, of course, prefer it that way. They want a chick that is basically performing on the other chick/s for our own joy, edification and manly masturbation. We are, of a certainty, major voyeurs.

Personally I have an even stronger reason; I once had a six months affair with a woman who was cheating on her girlfriend with me. Wow!

But seriously now, let us indulge in a small thought experiment – You just had sex with your girl and it - was – good! You’re slowly drifting away into la-la-land and you sense that she is getting up and going away – You know that she is probably went to the bathroom – Outside it is getting darker and inside the lights are off so you are falling asleep. Some time later you wake up partially to the sweet sensation of lips on your penis and you marvel at her change of heart; Previously, she seemed quite reluctant to perform this last intimate act with you, but you don’t dwell on it too much because after all, today is your birthday and this is a fabulous gift and besides that, by now, you spend like a gas pump. Over satisfied, you fall into a sweet golden slumber filled with the most marvelous of dreams.

A few hours later, you wake up needing to use the toilet and you realize that there is a naked body on each side of you and it dawns on you that your birthday present is even better than you thought; anyway, you scoot down the bed use the facilities and you are back in no time at all. By now, the thought of which of her friends is in bed with you has got you quite inflamed again, so you start by exploring the body on your left (your girl always sleeps on your right.) You spoon yourself against a very smooth and warm pair of butt cheeks and you drape your hand over her waist – You tease yourself for a few moments with the anticipation of feeling the breasts that go with that smooth butt, or the exploration of that holiest of holies - the fountain of life - the honey pot – is it smooth? – is it trimmed? Is it wet? Is it … ? Oh, what the heck, you just grab that cunt.

Screech!!!! Brake hard!!!! Shift to reverse at once!!!! Did you just feel a dick?

So you scream out: “Holy fucking mother of God – What the fuck did just happen?

Everyone is awake and somebody, it may have been you, has turned on the light and your girlfriend’s twin brother is revealed lying on the same bed your girlfriend is in. There is a space where your body had just been, and you are trying not to notice that his hair is the same color, style and length as hers; that his mouth is full and fleshy and the exact shape as hers, and ….

O.K., everybody got the idea, right?

So, now, the aftermath; we will leave the bedroom scene for the one that is playing in your mind. Did a guy just give a blow job? One part of your mind knows that is what has happened, but another one is covering it up – Maybe it was just a birthday prank and it was really her that did it. You remember all kinds of little things you did that may have made her upset but you know she wouldn’t go this far to revenge herself.

You know, even assuming that was the truth, you have to admit that you couldn’t tell the difference and that you enjoyed it immensely at the time. If you knew that it was a guy, you would NOT enjoy it at all, it would be torture, and besides, it would never get that far. So, is this, God forbid – going to turn you into a faggot? You didn’t know so you cannot be guilty. Anyway, it could not be a guy right? A guy wouldn’t know how to give such great head! Really?!?

All right, we can beat this dead horse a little bit longer, but I think it is useless; it’ll stay dead. Let us instead postulate this:

If you are the kind of guy who loves to fuck, on the bed, on the living room carpet, on the ceramic tiled kitchen floor, you on top, you on the bottom, from the front, from behind, sideways and on top of the running washing machine, with the lights on or off, and you love to receive and/or bestow oral sex and any other kind of kinks that you and your partner can consent to, I would like to postulate that you are bi-sexual no matter what you consider yourself. All the baggage that comes with living in a society and by necessity and education absorbing its culture, morals and so on, would not make a difference if the sexual act was performed purely as such; Yeah baby, lets do it!

Personally, I consider myself a heterosexual and have never had any same sex experiences, but in my mind I sometimes feel limited by the thought I am incapable of having sex with a man. After all, at least for me, sex is also a bonding experience, a growing closer to someone and showing a side of you that they would otherwise never witness.

A couple of last thoughts: What if you are gay and the whole scenario was reversed? Meaning the blow job came from the sister? What if you are a woman - straight or gay?

My contention is that we are all born bi-sexual and we could, if we tried, get back to that state, because after all, it seems that sexual preferences are all in our minds. And if you think that I am fucking with your mind you are probably right. The good news is that (no, not Geico,) that I seem to be capable of a bi-sexual mindfuck so there’s some hope; How about a mental-a-trois?

November - Allah'hu Akhbar!

Allah'hu Akhbar!

In Israel "akhbar" is, like so many other Arabic words, actually used as part of the local slang. The word means
great, but in the local usage it is more like: awesome! incredible! and other superlatives. I have learned since
then, that the Muslims apply that epithet to Allah , which is, as everyone probably knows by now, what they call
their God. I have heard similar descriptions of God from Jews, Christians, Hindus and others. Everyone knows that
God is the greatest, the mostest, the supremest; He is omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, and so on, and so on.
He works in mysterious ways, He is inscrutable, inimitable, immutable, infinite, …. He is God!!!

So, then it stands to reason that God also has infinite love, infinite patience, infinite humility, infinite
understanding: He is everywhere, He is everything, He is all things and unlike the popular misconception that God is
genderless, the reality is that God is all genders. And She is worthy of our love, our trust, our faith, our lives,
our souls, etc. Now, know ye all that I am and have always been, (since I converted from atheism,) an agnostic, but
I would most certainly agree, that if there were a God, He/She/It would certainly be omni-everything.

Therefore, it is extremely baffling to me that so many people, do not have a problem with the fact that
someone as moronic as lets say, G. W. Bush knows the ways and the word of God, and he can change the laws of the
land to reflect that knowledge of his. Doesn’t anyone actually know that God is a lot more Akhbar than any human
can ever encompass? How can all these puny little idiots claim that they are the only ones who understand the word
of God? And how can so many millions of us be so easily swayed by the charms and glib words of a Khomeini, a Swaggart,
a Bakker, a Dollar or a Jay?? How many self styled Guru’s need to buy fleets of Rolls Royce automobiles with our hard
earned cash before we understand? What kind of University does a Satmar Rabbi graduate from in order to become
the leader of a powerful Jewish orthodox faction? What makes him so much smarter than your average New York subway
bible thumper? How many of you out there actually believe that an illiterate moron who can barely read, can actually
point out to you something that you might have missed in your 200 or 300 re-readings of the Bible?

So here’s a word to all the Rabbis, Gurus, Pundits, Ayatollahs, Popes, Reverends, Ministers, and all other
kinds of holier-than-thou riff-raff: Allah is indeed akhbar; She is so akhbar that none of you have the brain
capacity to actually envelope the magnitude of that concept. To all of you who say God is Great, I would like to
say: She is indeed and a lot greater than you can imagine. And when you all come to me and try to explain, cajole,
threaten and bribe, let me just say this: I can look inside a flower and see much more God than any of you can ever
conjure with your pitiful efforts. I know than that She loves me, and I am not afraid of all your invented Hells.
She would never send me there. You actually have to work very hard and become a Hitler, a Stalin, a G. W. Bush or
some kind of Richard the Lion-Hearted to actually get there.

Allah, the most akhbar, most merciful, most generous and most loving friend in need.
Love her because She is beauty, goodness and mercy, and never-ever be afraid of Her.